Chernobyl 1986

i hope i still have the tendency and the skills to write. most importantly writing this blog with heart scared wide open. imagine putting salt on a fresh wound, and yes, that is what my heart is experiencing right now. words can't be used to describe feelings of any kind but certainly can be used to channel it for public viewing.




what is the most fundamental thing in relationships? anyone can answer me PRECISELY? as i thought, nobody can. its impossible as different people has different point of view. but for me, the most important is TRUST. yes. trusting each other is important. i'm not writing because i got some trust issues between my peeps around me but, nowadays, trust has become some of the elements that has been taken lightly. its easy to lose trust but it fucking hard to gain it back. under trust also there are understanding. yes some may classify understanding and trust in their own classification but for me both of them are well-connected. human or in the science term is homo-sapiens, as stated by the religion, is a very unique creation. one-of-a-kind creation to be precise. it is so special till the satan was told to bow before him. human learn from mistakes they make. and tend not to follow it and make a future reference out of it. chinese saying once stated that one can lead a horse to the water, but twenty cannot make it drink. not comparing human to horses but the principle is the same, both horse and human got feelings and can think. no relationship can survive without understanding and trust laying side by side. trust solely won't hold up a relationship for 24 years like my parents did. i cried when i finally get to see the beauty if their relationship. trust your partners in everything they do, and with trust, comes understanding. every human being isn't perfect. no matter how hard one try to be, but still there are loopholes in it. so do i. i can't be perfect, but i'm always trying to be the best in what i can be. yes sometimes we can't always have the things we planned it to be. i always thought the saying of my teacher back then, he said, life is hard and painful, but there is another word that is a lot more hard and goddamn more painful, and it also starts with a the letter "L". the sentence is easy to be said, but does it bring any meaning when being said? it only got 3 words in it, but does the promises made after that three words can be fulfilled? ain't love grand? it makes trust and understanding worthless though both of them is the essentials of it. 


im done writing, away for smoking